Spirit.indwelling.org is focused primarily on the indwelling Holy Spirit of God in the lives of believers and will hopefully include testimonials from believers of how the Holy Spirit can transform lives. Its purpose is to spread the Gospel Message of Jesus Christ and to help believers, new and old, to become aware of the workings of God’s Holy Spirit in their lives.
Hello, my name is Bill. When I was in the business world and attending training classes I would often introduce myself as bashful, boring Bill. If you have ever been to a training class, you will understand. It seemed appropriate at the time for the way I viewed my life. After passing the seventy year mark several years ago, I now just think of myself as just, “boring Bill.”
Throughout my life I have often though it only takes one significant achievement, or one unfortunate failure to define one’s life. I have always told my friends you only need one good song, one good book, one large fish, one good movie role or one good “something” that you were recognized for that virtually defined your life’s success.
The opposite of one good something is one bad something. In my case it was one bad something at the age of seven that defined my life: a bad decision that led to the harm of my brother physically and to me emotionally. On the outside I appeared “normal” but on the inside I carried a burden, my own cross I like to call it, for over sixty years before I was willing to release it.
Maybe you have had your one good something or one bad something. Maybe you have had both. In either case your life was probably changed for the better or worse depending on how you responded and how you continued to respond over the years.
“Confessions of a Closet Christian” is the story I have written about my personal journey through life, and how I have handled my “one bad something.” My spiritual journey began on a city playground at the young age of five. It was there that I first heard the spiritual voice of the Holy Spirit of God or a Messenger of God. This episode could have been my one bad something but was “one of my one good something,” but I’ll save that discussion for later. It indeed defined the course of my life.
I never considered myself a writer nor did I ever have a desire to write. In fact, writing was always a struggle for me. The writing of a simple “Thank You” note brought on an almost total loss of words; it was a nightmarish struggle that I still choose to avoid even today. My grammar, English and spelling will label me by some as intellectually uncouth and severely lacking in formal education. I’ll let you be the judge.
About five years ago I began to arouse from my sleep before dawn with simple thoughts. I would make my way upstairs to my office and my computer where I would quickly start typing. On some mornings it might only be a simple paragraph, but on other occasions, my thoughts were pages. Some would take a religious or political view while others would be more humorous.
Once I started organizing my written words, I compiled what I originally began to call, “My Story: a Story of Paranoia.” I now call the first episode of my story, “My Testimony: The Dark Years.” It is a story of my early childhood, and why I feel there is a God and how He has been working in my life through His Holy Spirit. It is a story that does not involve drugs, sex, alcohol, physical abuse, thievery or meanness but a story of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. A story that is not typically told regarding one’s mental thoughts yet a story that many people, I feel, have lived or are still living.
My simple morning thoughts soon turned into a voluminous number of connected thoughts, and so my journey began as I attempted to organize and compile related material. Since many of my initial writings were not wordy, a blog format soon got its start as more of a way to organize and store rather than the endeavors of a true blogger.
My story is thus a composite of various blogs that I have written along with deeper thoughts regarding subject matter that was too lengthy for presentation in a blog format. My story was not written for publication. In fact, it was written for my children and solely to explain why I was as sheltering and paranoid of a parent. Bottom line, I always felt inadequate as a parent, and it was my way of saying, “I’m sorry.”
I hope you fine my thoughts interesting and thought provoking. Your life may find meaning, your body, soul and spirit may find peace that surpasses all understanding or you may just occasionally have a good laugh.